It is the pure desire to know, not to feel apathy, to be vividly interested in what the spirit comes to tell you, without expecting anything from it. Having a passionate romance with knowledge is the only thing that can give us the power we need not to falter, when signs are pointing in the direction of the unknown. ~ Don Juan
This was apparently just the quote I needed to bring me out of the dry spell I’ve been experiencing. Man, when there are no words there just are no words. It’s been nearly a month since my last post and though I tried and tried, I just couldn’t find the words to express anything. Not that there wasn’t a lot going on in the madness of the mind, there were just no words to describe it. I suppose I’ve been navigating the unknown; at least my unknown.
About 45 days ago, my assemblage point radically shifted which capitulated me into the state of continual dream. With a predilection towards stalking, dream is a wondrous and magical place to reside, everything so fresh and new and, actually, the same. Yet different. I’m still here in dream by the way, and I venture to guess that this is a new location of my assemblage point and the task at hand, I suppose, is to integrate and to teach myself how to stalk dream.
A whole new realm of knowledge and awareness which I believe Carlos would refer to as connecting with infinity has presented itself in this perpetual dream state and because it is so new, I am like a tourist, looking at everything and everyone with wonder, trying to make sense of what I’m seeing because nothing fits anymore in the world of reason that had previously been assembled both by me and by others. I am questioning everything continually because nothing is as it was and nothing looks the same.
Don Juan said, When his path no longer corresponds to human expectations, when it takes him to situations that challenge his reason, then we can say that a warrior has begun an intimate relationship with knowledge.
My dance with knowledge is deepening. While I don’t always understand it, I am learning to appreciate the madness in the world that presents itself through many different perceptual filters. The easiest way for me to acknowledge certain perceptions, especially the ones that I don’t very much care for is to see them for the patterns that they are and to know from my own dance in awareness that they are the fixation of someone’s assemblage point who is fixating the position of someone else’s assemblage point and so on. Like a two-dimensional Mandelbrot constantly repeating itself in an organized pattern. Wow. I suppose I’m experiencing a more three-dimensional mandelbulb. Wow again and scary.
Some of you will claim to know what I describe here, some of you will accuse me of not being further along that you suspected. Some of you will call me a self-important liar. Some of you will say it’s about time. Some of you will tell me exactly what I’m experiencing even though you don’t know and some of you will know exactly what I am talking about because you’ve been here. Some of you will laugh the laugh of madness in your own love affair with knowledge and with your own joy of knowing what I’m seeing. And you know what? I just don’t give a hoot how you receive my story or what you do with it. Why should any of us care? I have come to find that the only people who really care about how their story is received are the ones who don’t yet have their own stories, the ones who are merely maintaining the pattern of someone else’s story or copying someone else’s story. All I can say is keep dancing!
You have had extraordinary luck silencing your mind for a moment and allowing power to point you out. But that is not enough; now you have to adjust yourself to its message, so that your life becomes the life of a warrior. From now on, your work will consist on cultivating an honest and clean bond with infinity. ~ Don Juan