At the end of his journey of learning, and almost without warning he will come upon the last of his enemies: old age! This enemy is the cruelest of all, the one he won’t be able to defeat completely, but only fight away. This is the time when a man has no more fears, no more impatient clarity of mind – a time when all his power is in check, but also the time when he has an unyielding desire to rest. If he gives in totally to his desire to lie down and forget, if he soothes himself in tiredness, he will have lost his last round, and his enemy will cut him down into a feeble old creature. His desire to retreat will overrule all his clarity, his power, and his knowledge. – Carlos Castaneda, The Teachings of Don Juan
In 2015 I wrote a blog entitled warriors and the four natural enemies. Today I want to talk about the natural enemy of old age because this is the era that many who have aligned themselves with the Toltec path of knowledge and awareness are entering into. I bring this up at this time because I am witness to a group of warriors – who I have done work with for decades – succumb to old age, and some of them are still in their 40s. As a result, I felt myself slipping into a state of perma-rest until recently when faced with the choice of acquiescing to the predator or continuing the battle against it. Wake up call! The battle for knowledge and freedom continues.
Why, you may ask? Because, since we were young adults we all knew that the cult mind of collective consciousness was not something that we resonated with and we pushed the boundaries relentlessly to break free from the mold of man. Don Juan said, The new seers are the only ones who have the sobriety to see the mold of man and understand what it is. What they have come to realize is that the mold of man is not a creator, but the pattern of every human attribute we can think of and some we cannot even conceive.
I speak for myself when I say those of us who have committed our lives to a path of freedom cannot allow ourselves to get tripped up by circumstances that will prevent us from continuing the dance into the abstract. If we do, then what was the point of all the hard work? The thing that has changed for me is that I am now traveling into unfamiliar territory alone for the first time. With my husband gone and with my community disbanded, I recognize that the only option left is to navigate the unknown in a new way.
In regards to diving into infinity, Don Juan said, You must face this task with all the gravity it deserves. It is your last stop before infinity swallows you. In fact, unless a warrior-traveler is in a sublime state of being, infinity will not touch him with a ten-foot pole. So, don’t spare yourself; don’t spare any effort. Push it mercilessly, but elegantly, all the way through. – The Active Side of Infinity. He also said that just before the warrior traveler dives into infinity he turns around to say thank you to those who favored him. So thank you to all of those people.
While the predator has been consuming humanity at an alarming rate over the course of the past year, it has had its final chance to consume me. It has lost that battle. So it is with elegance, fortitude, courage, creativity, perseverance, and an unyielding intent that I continue to dance into infinity, into the unknowable. Hope to see you there!